This time i pick up two Hindi movies to support all that i have to say. Certain aspects may definitely be exaggerated in the movies but blotting that out it has all the ingredients that has been on my mind these few days. Maybe i am the kind who looks for resources to effectively convey without being misunderstood.
i have always believed women to be more powerful than men. Not that i'm a feminist of some sort but i am more a believer of that perfect balance that has been explained so beautifully in our scriptures as that of Shiva (male) and Shakti (female) and i do not endorse that concept of "weaker sex".Though in a perfect balance both are equal but my consideration of women being more powerful in this world is more based on facts and happenings around me than the concept of equality itself.
What gives women immense power over men is what i have in mind at the present moment. Being a woman i am aware of these powers myself. This being so different from the animal kingdom where it is the other way around where the males have to exhibit their prowess in all forms to grab the attention of the females including doing everything to be physically attractive. Certain happenings in the past has forced me to talk of Triya Charitra (female character) and the feeling gets aggravated by Chanakya's (Kautilya) take on women when he says "Atyasanna vinashaya durastha na falprada
Sevitavyam madhyabhagain raja vahirguruh striyamah"
This Sanskrit shloka means, " Do not stay too close to; the King, the fire, and the women. It's dangerous. But do not stay too far off them. It will gain you no rewards. Just keep hovering around at a safe distance ." So when he said this i guess he meant these special powers of the women known as Triya Charitra not women as such because there is another instance where he says, "Vidya mitram pravaseshu bharya mitram griheshu cha
vyadhithasya aushadham mitram dharmo mitram mritasya cha"
Here he says, " Skill is a man's friend in a foreign land. A good natured wife is the man's best friend. Medicine is a sick man's friend. And charitable deeds are one's only friend after death."
So coming to the thoughts that i had earlier as to what is in a woman that makes a man move about her like a puppy/dog on a leash. If it is exasperating to see the woman like that it is more disgusting to see a man stoop to this level of unmanliness. So i asked my husband to tell me the man's point of view and he replied very animatedly,"A man in the house if he is nagged and bullied to submission of such form it is only that he is trying to buy peace knowing very well that if he tried anything else it would result in a vulgar display of discontent and disharmony."
i was not stunned by his answer rather had anticipated it knowing very well that he will never go against his sex. i had guessed he would put the females into the spot like most men normally do to cover up their super bloated egos.
But i think very differently about this. It is here that Triya Charitra comes to light. That power the woman has and is not hidden from the world. That fine art of being an enigma no one can fathom. "Purushyam bhagyam triya charitam devoh na janati", meaning that not even Gods know the fortune of men and nature of women.
Seduction, manipulalation by emotional blackmail, plotting and scheming...and if not anything then crocodile tears associated with such women who turn even the most disadvantageous situation in their favour forms the central theme of the film ' Beta ' which can never be forgotten because of it's Dhak Dhak Karne Lagaa and performing that number so seductively the beautiful Madhuri Dikshit. That battle of wits between the mother in law and the educated daughter in law was most engrossing throughout as victory see -sawed between the two. Aruna Irani as the mother in law displaying all the above said traits is a classic example of this Triya Charitra which is the power of women to subjugate men into being the slaves of a woman's whims and fancies.
Educated or uneducated hardly matters because every women wields this power and definitely can use it to her advantage though one can use intellect and the other through intense drama , a sham and sometimes even sheer raw rustic power as is the case in the Hindi movie Biwi Ho To Aisi where Salu/Shalu uses her simple rustic talents to subjugate her modern and overpowering mother in law.
So whether it is Saru (Madhuri in Beta) or Shalu (Rekha in Biwi Ho To Aisi) she can very much deal with all kinds of Triya Charitra as she herself is equipped to the hilt to tackle all that brutality, all that scheming and plotting because she knows how to emerge from that chakravyuha (maze/labyrinth) by using her own understanding of that charitra and thus foiling the plans painstakingly hatched. What intrigues me more is that degree of blind faith that a son can have for his step-mother to ignore the intellect and wisdom of his wife and be an easy victim of a gruesome plot. How does the master of the house and his grown up sons endure this amazon of a women who can show Hitler the door? i fail to see any sign of respect or love here and witness a gutless approval of tyranny instead.
"Secretary! follow me!! ", was too amusing when we watched the movie. Having witnessed a real version recently was far from amusing rather it was painful and disgusting. Painful as we were spectators and could not butt into someone's personal life and disgusting to see a man reduced to pathetic patni bhakti (wife devotion) to the extent of apparently giving the impression of a servant rather than a husband, what to talk of looking like a secretary.
When Ma had narrated the Ram Banwaas story we were too young to understand the implications of Rani Kekaiyee
going to Kope Bhawan (Hall of Sorrow) sans her ornaments and her hair open waiting for Raja Dashratha to come and mollify her. Today i know what it means.Yet another shashtra ( weapon) which guarantees victory.
What i am more interested in knowing now is that side of the story which speaks for the vanquished one and enlightens me with this debate that is ringing inside me. What gives women this immense power over men that turns them into this henpecked pathetic creatures to whom i'd love to say "Go Hang yourself" or better still Chullu Bhar Pani mein doob Maro (drown yourself in a handful of water). Implying thus that why don't you die out of sheer shame than to live like this.
So is it Triya Charitra or Paurushheen ? Synonyms of the word unmanly put together should explain the word Paurushheen. These being emasculated, timid, coward, gutless...
And though my choice of films can be laughed out yet i want to reiterate the fact that TRUTH IS STRANGER AND WORSE THAN FICTION. When it happens in reality it tears you apart as you want to set things right but can't do anything about it.