Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Triya Charitra or Paurushheen ?

This time i pick up two Hindi movies to support all that i have to say. Certain aspects may definitely be exaggerated in the movies but blotting that out it has all the ingredients that has been on my mind these few days. Maybe i am the kind who looks for resources to effectively convey without being misunderstood.
i have always believed women to be more powerful than men. Not that i'm a feminist of some sort but i am more a believer of that perfect balance that has been explained so beautifully in our scriptures as that of Shiva (male) and Shakti (female) and i do not endorse that concept of "weaker sex".Though in a perfect balance both are equal but my consideration of women being more powerful in this world is more based on facts and happenings around me than the concept of equality itself.

What gives women immense power over men is what i have in mind at the present moment. Being a woman i am aware of these powers myself. This being so different from the animal kingdom where it is the other way around where the males have to exhibit their prowess in all forms to grab the attention of the females including  doing everything to be physically attractive. Certain happenings in the past has forced me to talk of Triya Charitra (female character) and the feeling gets aggravated by Chanakya's (Kautilya) take on women when he says "Atyasanna vinashaya durastha na falprada  
Sevitavyam madhyabhagain raja vahirguruh striyamah"
This Sanskrit shloka means,  " Do not stay too close to; the King, the fire, and the women. It's dangerous. But do not stay too far off them. It will gain you no rewards. Just keep hovering around at a safe distance ."  So when he said this i guess he meant these special powers of the women known as Triya Charitra not women as such because there is another instance where he says,  "Vidya mitram pravaseshu bharya mitram griheshu cha                 
vyadhithasya aushadham mitram dharmo mitram mritasya cha"
Here he says,  " Skill is a man's friend in a foreign land. A good natured wife is the man's best friend. Medicine is a sick man's friend. And charitable deeds are one's only friend after death."

So coming to the thoughts that i had earlier as to what is in a woman that makes a man move about her like a puppy/dog on a leash. If it is exasperating to see the woman like that it is more disgusting to see a man stoop to this level of unmanliness. So i asked my husband to tell me the man's point of view and he replied very animatedly,"A man in the house if he is nagged and bullied to submission of such form it is only that he is trying to buy peace knowing very well that if he tried anything else it would result in a vulgar display of discontent and disharmony."
i was not stunned by his answer rather had anticipated it knowing very well that he will never go against his sex. i had guessed he would put the females into the spot like most men normally do to cover up their super bloated egos.
But i think very differently about this. It is here that Triya Charitra comes to light. That power the woman has and is not hidden from the world. That fine art of being an enigma no one can fathom. "Purushyam bhagyam triya charitam devoh na janati",  meaning that not even Gods know the fortune of men and nature of women.

Seduction, manipulalation by emotional blackmail, plotting and scheming...and if not anything then crocodile tears associated with such women who turn even the most disadvantageous situation in their favour forms the central theme of the film ' Beta ' which can never be forgotten because of it's Dhak Dhak Karne Lagaa and performing that number so seductively the beautiful Madhuri Dikshit. That battle of wits between the mother in law and the educated daughter in law was most engrossing throughout as victory see -sawed between the two. Aruna Irani as the mother in law displaying all the above said traits is a classic example of this Triya Charitra  which is the power of women to subjugate men into being the slaves of a woman's whims and fancies.

Educated or uneducated hardly matters because every women wields this power and definitely can use it to her advantage though one can use intellect and the other through intense drama , a sham and sometimes even sheer raw rustic power as is the case in the Hindi movie Biwi Ho To Aisi where Salu/Shalu uses her simple rustic talents to subjugate her modern and overpowering mother in law.

So whether it is Saru (Madhuri in Beta) or Shalu (Rekha in Biwi Ho To Aisi) she can very much deal with all kinds of Triya Charitra as she herself is equipped to the hilt to tackle all that brutality, all that scheming and plotting because she knows how to emerge from that chakravyuha (maze/labyrinth) by using her own  understanding of that charitra and thus foiling the plans painstakingly hatched. What intrigues me more is that degree of blind faith that a son can have for his step-mother to ignore the intellect and wisdom of his wife and be an easy victim of a gruesome plot. How does the master of the house and his grown up sons endure this amazon of a women who can show Hitler the door?  i fail to see any sign of respect or love here and witness a gutless approval of tyranny instead.

"Secretary! follow me!! ", was too amusing when we watched the movie. Having witnessed a real version recently was far from amusing rather it was painful and disgusting. Painful as we were spectators and could not butt into someone's personal life and disgusting to see a man reduced to pathetic patni bhakti (wife devotion) to the extent of apparently giving the impression of a servant rather than a husband, what to talk of looking like a secretary.

When Ma had narrated the Ram Banwaas story we were too young to understand the implications of Rani Kekaiyee
going to Kope Bhawan (Hall of Sorrow) sans her ornaments and her hair open waiting for Raja Dashratha to come and mollify her. Today i know what it means.Yet another shashtra ( weapon) which guarantees victory.

What i am more interested in knowing now is that side of the story which speaks for the vanquished one and enlightens me with this debate that is ringing inside me. What gives women this immense power over men that turns them into this henpecked pathetic creatures to whom i'd love to say "Go Hang yourself" or better still Chullu Bhar Pani mein doob Maro (drown yourself in a handful of water). Implying thus that why don't you die out of sheer shame than to live like this.
So is it Triya Charitra or Paurushheen ? Synonyms of the word unmanly put together should explain the word Paurushheen. These being emasculated, timid, coward, gutless...
And though my choice of films can be laughed out yet i want to reiterate the fact that TRUTH IS STRANGER AND WORSE THAN FICTION. When it happens in reality it tears you apart as you want to set things right but can't do anything about it.


  1. i likes your take on triya charitra and the various movies as examples. Good going, shivani

  2. @Mini thanks for appreciating and yes i just remembered these on time to paste these as examples...

  3. thanx god once again i m correct......

  4. @Alok haha! wanted more than just this incomplete keeps me guessing one liner but anyways thank you for visiting this least frequented blog and gratified...but tell me not as a boy/man but in general something more which convinces me that i am not a misogynist...someone said being a girl/woman i should think better than to go on a rampage.Please oblige me if u have the time and the inclination.Thanks again for reading and agreeing.

  5. Hi Shivani,,,i was trying to find the meaning of trya charitra and i came across your bolg. i must say vry nice take on triya charitra. but somewhere i feel u were a little biased towards women( may b i m wrong).

  6. @Anonymous thank you for stopping by to go through my post.U might be wondering whether i am a misogynist or some weird woman.
    What i have been trying to point out is that if a woman becomes too autocratic in her approach if that could be just her own self or whether it is the lack of good sense on the part of men folk who cower down and help her to perpetrate the injustice.
    No i don't feel u might be wrong. Maybe i have been not too successful in trying to convey.

  7. Shivani,,u are right on the money!! :), but i m a little bit confused regarding the meaning of this "Triya Charitra". i have seen people using this phrase in the negative sense.

    btw,, if u are wondering why am i so much interested in this topic. its because recently I watched a Hindi movie wherein this word was repeated so many times.


  8. n yours choice of movie clips is superb!!! :)

  9. @Anonymous thank you so much for visiting and asking me about something that has left u confused.
    Triya-means female
    Charitra- means it's the characteristic of women.
    The word often is used in a negative sense when a women uses her assets to charm her way...sometimes by seductiom, mostly by wickedness... drama through tears and others like (plotting,conniving,machinations etc).
    When she uses any of these methods to get what she desires...then it is called triya charitra.
    As you can see in the movie clips the various activities happening.
    Basically the achievement of means through dishonest behaviour by a woman is believed to be triya charitra.
    i often get disgusted when i come across men who are hen-pecked.They are spineless for it is because of their weakness for lust or otherwise that the wife becomes dictatorial and hence turns into a woman who can only inflict pain.
    Power corrupts.But who is giving the power for a could be her coward husband or even son.Watch Dadi Sa in the TV serial Balika Badhu.Observe her elder son who can't utter a word of sound advice each time Dadi Sa delivers her blow.
    Actually i got so disgusted that i have stopped watching the serial completely.
    Woman is an embodiment of love,mercy, affection.
    But when the woman ceases to be so and uses the dishonest methods to achieve her goals...that is termed as Triya Charitra.
    Ok which is the movie that u've seen? Do let me know.
    Maybe citing examples from there that is if i know of the movie i can pinpoint the exact parts where there is a portrayal of triya charitra.

    1. Shivani.. tend to agree with u. I too came across ur blog after watching the movie.. Mirch. where this word has been used repeatedly. I stumbled upon the movie by chance on Youtube & was pleasantly surprised with the portrayal of women's character. It's very true. Women have hidden powers which subconsiously can be used to meet the need of the hour.Also Pyar ka Panchnaama is a good example of Triya Charitra.

    2. Hi...I am another "Anonymous"..say Anonymous-1... thanks for that explanation...I agree with your point of view which you have delineated while explaining the meaning of the topic...

      ...BTW I was also searching for the meaning of this word ...had heard that in the film Mirch :-) ...and stumbled upon your blog by virtue of Mr. Google...

  10. Thanks for the explanation!!!

  11. pleasure :) will look forward to more of ur visits. Thank you too for giving me an opportunity to speak what i felt is not the correct way for a woman to be.

  12. Hi,
    I am a female but I do agree that these terminologies are given by men tp put down the greaceful

  13. nicely interpreted

  14. Hi,
    Loved this article..... actually went ahead and had a talk with my friends as well.... but there seems be another way of explaining triya Charitra too... which is playing dual roles (which may be put down as manipulative or leading multiple personalities) hence the character (charitra) is not understood as it is multiple in nature. Another implication is that no one can "own" a woman... she never belongs to anyone. A negative example was set in "omkaara". Triya charitra, is also about playing mind games(consciously/sub-consciously)... thinking something, doing something and playing at something else. In indian Mythology too... in the nar narishwar roop, Shakti(or power) is a female form... the male is the balance of it.

  15. I think both you and your husband are right . You are right that a wife does have power -- it is "the power to make a vulgar display of discontent and disharmony" as your husband put it -- if she feels like it. Indeed a husband has this too. Perhaps you can tell us who, in your experience, exercises this power more often. Of course, in the end making an ass of oneself by misbehaving is hardly real power -- a fact that few realize until it is too late.

  16. These days modern women are trying to become and behave like man but they don't learn the good qualities of man .They just know shouting and abusing is man's character.

  17. AWesome hai shivani ji but can u plz tell me wot does TRiya means...

    does triya means women.......

  18. shivani ji--- u can watch MIrch movie to get more like this ITs awesome i really liked it ......coz its truth

  19. Hi
    I am a boy...and searched for triya charitra bcoz my brother said in anger " triya charitra bahut bura hota hai"...his girlfriend dumped him....
    I dont think its bad, because males also do planning, plotting, politics if a women do all these things then whats wrong with that...why it is a perception that women should be loving and caring.....if a women is not honest or does not have any good quality then its her personal thinking or behaviour...

    Person to person mentality my opinion bad qualities should not be categorized to particular sex...

    1. Yours is the only sane and reasonable comment I found here. Very true, qualities should not be attributed according to gender. Love, care and compassion are found in both men and women. In the same way, shrewdness, dishonesty and aggression is also common to both. Why should a woman only be loving and caring? In today's age, it's a really sad state of society to differentiate women like this from men, based on characters. Already millions of women in our country are facing injustice in the form of forced female foeticide, violence, dowry killings, refusal of education/jobs by family members, eve teasing and so much blame-games even till this day. In this scenario, there should be educative articles on gender equality, not like this which blames one gender and sectionalize women.

  20. awesome post Shivani... flammable thoughts!!

  21. i m getting to hate gals,
    i dont know, i m right or not i have experienced such relationships in my life that had made me feel so negative about gal . Earlier i used to respect all gals very much .
    i can share all but my strange friendship with this gal Named Manju dahiya from sonipat working in Noida (i know name only cant lead to individual's identity).
    She used to be very Homely , simple gal . in fact she was the gal like if u see her first time u will feel very respectful by all means like the way she used to behave , the way she dresses everything .
    One day she asked me for help in some code (we are Software engg.) i just helped her. on same day she went with me to her house . i realy liked her and respected her..
    she asked my number i gave her .
    at 10 :30 pm she send me a Joke on my cell . it was really good one .i replied that i like this Joke to her.
    after some she started to wait for me while goin to office even till 11:0 pm . she had to wait around 3 hrs . she also got scolded by her maternal aunt for comming late but still she used to wait . i also asked her to please dont wait for it gets too late .
    after one month i told her that i will be switching the Job, she made such a childish face , i just cant tell u she was looking like a kid at that time . and was asking me to stay cause she dont have any good people around there in office for her , i was so touched by her that i decided to stay and missed a very good Job which i regret now.
    on day i forcibly send her to her house coz it was goin to take much late for me to go home
    she send around 15 messages in just 10 minutes for asking me what i m doin she missing me , and tell ing me that i should have someting ... she was so carrying for me like my Mom .
    but suddenly she started behaving so different to me . she started avoiding me .
    later i decided to leave that job when i told her about that , it was like she dont care about it .
    i felt so bad but did not say anything to her .,
    later on i found that she is involved with her 2 seniors . she was having phone sex with them , and when i said that this is wrong , then she replied that they are her senior she cant say no to them , i was so ashemed that she my friend who used call me best friend is doin that kind of shamefull stuf , all office people hav started calling her a keep , slut she fought with me also for them and stop talking with me.. i am still feel like crying when i think about her .. i feel like i m not able to take care of her ..
    i wish God bless her
    thats why i hate gals , there are lots of ohter thing about her that i m not writing which are more shamefull.

  22. Hey Shivani, I completely agree with this as I lost my marriage because of this Triya Charitra of my mother-in-law. I used to think that movies are too fictitious and these things can't be true but its the sadest truth of my life now. I did not know how to deal with these types of ladies and fake situations created by them though I am myself a female just got trapped in her game and lost my husband to her who was only a son and a brother and never thought beyond his mom. But to be very honest still I have not learnt and have not been able to learn these traits, may be I do not want to live such a shameful life. I still wonder, how can a mother uses his son for her selfishness and a sister for her happiness, how can people be so mean and cunning, how goodness and innocence die in such situations and God just kept watching all this from distance and did not come to rescue me and my marriage. Is there any way we can overcome this and win in such circumstances without being the one like them?

    1. This is like reading my own story...everything exactly the same...i also want to save my marriage...can someone help us pls...give classes or lessons...and this is absolutely very very serious and super urgent...

  23. Are you saying triya charitra exists because of paurushheen husband? what is paurush according to you?

    I am an arien and I'm extremely attracted to saggitarius ppl

  24. Hi Shivani,

    You are 100% correct about the Triya Charitra of Women and men being powerless in front of this Dangerous Weapon.

    I have observed it in my experience very well.

    Thanks for this blog, It will open the eyes of many men and will make them understand the difference between HUSBAND and DOG.

    1. what do you mean when some one says 2 u that keep ur charitra clean ... does it has to do anything related to a girls virginity or it simply means not to be double faced and everything tat u explaned above... plz explain me on this in virginity context plz

  25. Poor men. . .if they hit back they are bloated with their man ego. . if they are victim of secret weapons they are paurushheen. .where is the fine line to differentiate it. .

  26. Poor men. . .if they hit back they are bloated with their man ego. . if they are victim of secret weapons they are paurushheen. .where is the fine line to differentiate it. .

  27. Poor men. . .if they hit back they are bloated with their man ego. . if they are victim of secret weapons they are paurushheen. .where is the fine line to differentiate it. .

  28. dear mam, very cunningly u have shown ur own female character and concluded with blaming males.
    intially it looked unbaised, but finally it come out to be opposite.
    i m myself a victim of triya charitra. seen with my eyes, felt with heart soul.
    totally absurd

  29. triya charitra means "The Power of Woman" but why people takes it in a negative ways...

    Thanks ...
    Vijay Rana

  30. Hi Shivani,

    Nice post about the character of females in general and it's true.
    I'm Shaan - 29 years old MAN from Bangalore and I was fortunate to gain insight about "The Female Character" early in my life. It indeed helped me a lot and I feel blessed to have enjoyed company of multiple women in my life. I read few bad experiences of males in here and I feel sad for them.

    I hope this post could help all boys aka males to gain knowledge and eventually transform themselves into MAN.

    "All MAN are males BUT all males are NOT MAN"

    Read the above line 50 -100 times till it embedded in your circuits.

    you see, PHYSICALLY (biologically) males & females are 90% the same - made of blood, nerves, bones, organs (kidney, brain, etc ect), flesh and all that.

    BUT ...

    MENTALLY males and women are 90% DIFFERENT.

    males are programmed to search and impregnate females who are physically in good health = this is the only reason why you find a woman attractive. Nothing else.

    females are programmed to search and get impregnated by the STRONGEST male - he needs to be the leader of the herd. STRONG interms of his CHARACTER, BELIEFS and his mental build up. this is only reason why women gets attracted to a male. There's nothing else. No amount of bank balance, fancy cars, expensive gifts could buy you this.

    If you (a male) don't have the capability to say "NO" to all the whips & fancies of the female ur attracted to then you prove that you don't have a spine. You're desperate and pathetic.

  31. i assure you for the unmitigated fact that you haven't understood "TRIYA CHARITRA" at all

  32. am myself suffering from very high level tricks played by my MIL,and am unable to face it.Really need a solution,may be some literature related to it.I want to save my marriage.My husband is totally under influence of slow poison feeded to him,by his M,that too in a indirect way,or you may call her triyacharit tricks.

  33. Awesome mam.... :)

  34. You talked about kaikayi...don't forget about surpankha...she might fit the bill.
    I tend to believe this power of women over men has two main reasons ( one good, one dark) -
    - Lust of men, not many men have the strength against it ( and if they have, then the second reason)
    - Duty, which is not very clearly defined, and more strong and good the man, more easily becomes a victim of it

  35. If even Gods cannot predict women nature, how could ordinary person can? Best way is to quitely avoid instead of indulging into arguments and winning. In fact no man has ever won and nor will till eternity.

  36. This article though gives a good light on the meaning of Triyacharitra,(I stumbled upon this blog while searching for the meaning of it) I find it biased regarding women. Why words like characterless, conniving, etc, is usually reserved only for one gender? Men also do the same kind of plotting, don't they? Both genders do that. Why to sectionalize women and put them in a fixed category? Love, care, compassion, kindness and honesty are qualities which are common to both men and women. In the same way, anger, passion, aggression, shrewdness, dishonesty and politics are also common attributes of both genders. Why to divide them according to genders and then point out each gender as coward, spineless, evil-plotting and conniving and what not. Man are spineless, you say, but there are spineless and foolish women too. In the same way, there are evil and cunning men too which resort to keeping women under submission and mutilating their rights. In this age, it's wrong to attribute and divide qualities based on genders. I feel much of these beliefs are based from our hindi tv soaps and potboiler films where women are always given a certain attribute and are easily called characterless when she deviates from the given line. If saying this makes me a feminist, so am I. Being a feminist means advocating equal rights for both genders, not wanting more powers for women. If one isn't a feminist, then he/she is a sexist who supports the concept of 'weaker sex'. One can't be both. I'm sorry if my comment upset you, but I find this article quite biased concerning women. Just my opinion.

  37. Lol. Like the way you twist the facts in support of women. Your whole essay is full of bias. In between triya means charactet and not nature and the real translation of saying is..not even god can guess a character of women and destiny of a man