Friday, April 23, 2010

If Speech is Silver then Silence is Gold

As i have been quite busy with other matters i was quite shook up when i hear one sad news from a dear friend of mine. i was shook up as to how blissfully i was unawares and why did i not take the signals seriously when it happened. i know it sounds incredible but everything will be fine on all fronts and suddenly out of the blue a streak of sadness settles down. It has happened quite so on a number of occasions followed by restlessness, insomnia of sorts when i moonlight doing this and that.

Those near and dear to me who are available, brush my restlessness aside saying things like, ''You feel insecure because of some sad events in your life...people are having insecurities for their loved ones and it's normal...."

My dad once told me about his dream in which he saw my son and my sister's daughter both sitting in a boat of some sort which is floating unmanned in a vast sea.Next morning when he mentions this i couldn't help but prolong this into a discussion whereby we talk of affairs of the heart that settles down in our subconscious and resurfaces in our dreams. That was one of the very interesting discussions which for a brief period of time sparked my interest in knowing more about the three stages- the sub-conscious, the conscious, and the superconscious. So i read this and that and just like some interests that are temporary i lost out on this one too.

Now with all kinds of healings going on i want to know about this thing called Pranic Healing. They say through this healing you could be miles apart and yet help someone in pain.But more than that i want to know for sure if i could rely on my intuition and how to differentiate between intuition and insecurity.

i remember vividly seeing this dream and waking nervous and tense asking my husband to call up home and find out if everything was alright. Those days we did not have out station call facility on our landline and if at all we had to make a call we would use the STD booths and some of it would not be near either.
My husband assured me that he could do one on his way to the office but before he could our phone rang with a trunk call message which was devastating and so near to the dream i had.

Now everytime i get these blues out of a sudden, i get scared. Someone known to me ,someone dear, everything alright...Oh God please help...
Reading this and that has worsened my situation in the sense that i am beginning to believe what i know not completely.
Stuff like Nature sends signals if only you care to listen.
Telepathy it sure does exist.
Pranic healing works and that i should stop being such a sceptic on this and respect it more. This follows from the earlier one cause if one exits then maybe there is a way to send positive energy that could be very helpful.
Now all this was getting too much for me too handle so i decided about comforting my friend in her time of crisis. i thought i could.What happened instead was, listening to her pain and all the happenings in the past left a chatterbox like me speechless.
Much about the soul being eternal and that what takes birth has to turn to dust and that the one she lost is peaceful now...all that blah blah i was unable to mouth.
All i could say was,"Give it some time...memories will never leave you but give it some time ." Actually i think even that was not required because i know she knows all that. My best could've been to just listen to her sobs between words that conveyed the unfortunate turn of events.
i was unable to tell her even that i understand her pain because i feel no one can really understand the other's pain or what one is going through.
i also did not stop her from crying because i think she is blessed in letting her grief flow.
The best i feel that one can do is to be quiet and listen and i guess this is the right time when Silence is Gold.

When i say this i am thinking about what i wanted when i was struck with calamity.
i hated narrating and reliving the moments again and again.
i wished people should stop telling me not to cry.
i wanted silence and to dwell in my grief for sometime.
i presume she may be wanting the same, so inspite of knowing that it is her birthday today i just let it be.
Maybe i could talk to her later when matters of the heart have taken it's due course of healing which happens naturally to all of us afflicted with loss and pain.
At the moment i should stop feeling guilty of being unawares and seriously hope and pray that she should come out of her grief soon enough to move on with her life.
At the moment i should turn back to myself and find ways with which next time the blues hit me what should be my best move. Definitely it should not be a chain of negative thoughts that gets the better of me and instead of getting spooked i should blow invisible bubbles of hope and good faith in life the kind that says shsh! shsh! it's alright. The bubbles that whisper," everything's going to be fine...give it some time..."

When times are better than this then maybe i could tell her about Robbie Kaplan and her ideas about memories. .Who knows what works but wisdom on all matters comes from all sides and one person's assessment of a particular emotional trauma can help the other. Once again i hope that when she is better she should be able to make out my silence.

Image coutesy:


  1. We all have our share of shocks, surprises, happiness, frustrations and pain. These all come in good measure throughout our lives. Through our younger days, there are a lot of shoulders to cry on but as one ages there are fewer shoulders as perils and pain come in bigger doses. Your post got me thinking about the elderly who might have seen one too many to literally become immune to sensitivities which abound at about middle age. I too have experienced extreme pain and shock especially at the death of my close ones. Sharing grief without saying anything helps a lot. Silence is definitely golden…
    Very good sensitive post Shivani…. Really got me thinking about our insecurities in ‘LIFE’ and its bearing on each one of us.

  2. Tandarin trust you to connect on this...words here from you are golden here...thanks

  3. Good post shivani.Pranic healing does exist-it is almost like believing in past life and its regression-we don't have any reasons or explanations of our sufferings,and we keep on thinking..y me??keep bloggin!

  4. Shivani, I can sense your grief over this loss and totally agree with your title of the blog. Sometimes, we need to stay silent and give the needed space to the mourner. As they say, time is the best healer... and being a good litener helps the other alleviate some grief.

  5. Very well written. You write very powerful posts in very simple words.
    Reminds me a personal loss of mine. Yeah, I had wanted to be let alone.

  6. SO very true SHivani...especially the folowing lines
    i hated narrating and reliving the moments again and again.
    i wished people should stop telling me not to cry.
    i wanted silence and to dwell in my grief for sometime. "

    A few days back my friend's mother expired..I didnt know what to do while others were ahring their gyan on philkosophy.. just hugged him...I think it helped him more!

  7. @Rashmi thanks for showing belief and making me stronger in my belief on KARMA
    @Preeti thanks for being with me in this and always
    @Raja Thank you and i am basically a simple one with simple language skills...thanks you liked that...maybe what i feel is how many of us feel and we want to be left alone and we do come out as it happens naturally...fussing doen't help rather makes you more irritable i guess.
    @Nish thank you for all you had to say. Glad to have met someone who also writes so well and has the humour in his writing the kind that entertains and not bites.Thank you for making me know you.Yeah and a hug in it's silence is a real warm way of conveying solidarity in times of crisis i agree to that.

  8. lovely article !

  9. @Gauri thank you deary and you surprised me's good to see you here...loved ur appreciation but more than that feel lighter that u know now and are sharing a part of my sadness.Thank you...Thank you :)

  10. Nice, heart-felt post. The thing about dreams is that you cannot bow to the fearful ones. Otherwise, they become self-fulfilling.

  11. @Anirban thanks for stopping by and reminding me again that there are dreams and then there is reality...