Tuesday, July 16, 2013

It's a Gal Thing

i often imagine my man to be a unicorn of a special kind.
A unicorn with automatic blinders on. The kind which pops in and later pops out of his face as and when it suits/ pleases him.
When mundane chores require vision he is the unicorn with his blinders on. Never knowing the whereabouts of his own personal effects. Can't even spot his flip flops which is very much there where it should be.
But when it comes to browsing/window shopping in a mall gone are the blinders rather he seems to get his third eye miraculously opened up what to talk of the x rated vision of the existing two.
It doesn't disturb me till he is attentive but there are times when i feel like i just said something to the six foot wall which cannot/ will not elicit response then i do what i'm best at...sulk first and when provoked in the ride back home shout and sometimes even cry out to my hearts content in the privacy of the car. A few apologies coupled with a few angry reproaches from my side and we are back to pretending to be chummy friends forever again. But to be honest...the pain of not being sexy/attractive enough to keep holding his attention remains, lurking in the crevices/ folds of the brain asking for changes in your whole physical being. The change that will require nothing less than a miracle.
Well that is one major uff factor which makes me hate my body even more. As if whatever reasons there were before was not enough.

For years now i have wondered how or why hubby dear can't get a single proper thing i asked for when he shops alone is because he never pays attention to all our grocery/ provision shopping together. He lurks around the vicinity happily shopping for something imaginary. i'm grateful that he pays the bill but c'mon what kind of a man irritates you to hell when you've asked him to get the regular paancphoren...asking you dumb questions as to what kind he is supposed to get when returning from the Supermarket where he has gone to get his particular brand of aftershave-alone. i tear my hair in despair wailing as if declaring to the universe my helpless plea- 29 years of home shopping together and he doesn't know what five spice a hardcore Bihari uses for the regular aloo ka bhujiya his the only one favorite he cannot do without.
Maybe it's a guy thing but then why i never mess up on the things my man needs or uses when i shop alone and i am able to deliver without fail or any faults each and every time is perhaps the gal thing. From the toiletries to the side of the bed he feels comfortable in to the way he likes his parathas done...
The unicorn complains that i'm never satisfied with what he brings and my answer is a standard one always, " That's not what i had asked for..."

And that's what my blog is about...the guy vs the gal thing. And what brought it all up was this wee bit of an article about men in the Sunday edition of the special feature of Times Life (TOI).
The wee bit article i would love to quote, ' Why he has a roving eye...' . Well that's the sub title of that which reads under ' Men Decoded '.
So then this is it i say to myself which partly explains this guy thing of having a third eye aka the roving eye. The COOLIDGE EFFECT., i.e. their urge to reproduce with multiple partners!..."
"According to the findings of a study by researchers at the University of Stirling and the University of Glasgow in the UK, men can't help staring at other women because their wandering eye is the result of evolution...''
The Coolidge Effect dispelled the erstwhile composure/ temperament i had maintained all this while.
That they are perhaps just too curious about the bird in the bush than being attentive to or perhaps appreciating the bird in hand. That perhaps this too was a typical guy thing and i can't do anything about it. Temporarily maybe sulk and later shout/cry OR else chuckle with delight to know what Bernice did. As if Bernice did what she did was purely on my/our behalf.
But the fact that there is a logical reasoning to this guy thing has it satisfied me and made me okay with it i must admit my answer leans towards the negative and i feel pained rather infuriated too. Actually it has annoyed me well enough to exclaim with exasperation," Evolution! my foot! two hoots to that crap...***%%*#####..."
Bernice needs to understand it too that her solution is not a permanent one. And that she needs to work on a better solution. For me, for all of us.
The Coolidge Effect better have another Warmidge Effect counteracting it to explain and make us woman accept the truth with a kinder heart and not blame our men for philandering even when it is an imagined and quite harmless one. i was attracted to this wee bit of article carelessly tucked into the border of page 3 of Times Life because i thought the article might give me some enlightenment which can make me come to terms with this guy thing just like how i have with the others. Wonder about the how and why's, throw hopeless gestures of despair and still move on. But unless i get a valid explanation and it better be more digestible than this i will continue to treat this Coolidge thing as yet another of those which one day says potato is not good for you and the very next day supposed to be so full of nutrients and everything.
Till then i shall continue to be just the gal i am...


  1. I perhaps think ..its explorers vs go-getters- a woman and a man shopping together.You cant expect a man to be window-shopping ever unless forced or has missed congratulating his wife or girlfriend on an important occasion. :D
    When men shop .. they are on a mission.. :D
    I suppose this is the same go-getter thing which makes them stare at other women .. after all once a girlfriend or wife .. he has already achieved his goals .. now next.. and his heart says " go get it" hahaha
    well smashed potatoes are good for health :D

  2. @ mysay.in haha love mashed potatoes if they are made in that Bharata way like we Biharis generally do.
    Btw that Bharata is my unicorns fav too who is an avid window shopper unlike me. But of course he is always on his mission like u have rightly said. :)
    Loved every bit of what u just said.
    And thank u much obliged. :)

    1. Bharatas are my fav too !!:) But only Alu ka Bharta Not Baigan!! :D

  3. @aliasgarmukhtiar thank u :))

  4. @ Saurabh Chawla thank u that's very encouraging. Hope to see more of u on my posts with words as these. :)

  5. My first time visiting your blog, and here I found a lot of interesting content .. thanks for sharing ...

  6. This post brought a chuckle. In our house, it's me who is like that. I intend to buy something and while gazing at the products, I forget what I had in mind and come home and feel sorry and my husband reprimands me. I wonder how to set things right. Maybe a handy list would do the needful.

    Joy always,

  7. @Susan,
    Good to see u here and nice to know ur side of the story although it would sound very comforting if u had said, " mera wala bhi..."
    Haha! similar experiences somehow feels comforting although it provides with no solution.
    Jokes apart a handy list not only saves time but also gives u some more time to indulge in products.
    Thanks for stopping by :)
    Joy always to you too,

  8. Don't we all wish for some magic or atleast someone who pays heed to our talks? It was a funny read and bet, most of the married lot will agree to your sufferings ;)

  9. @ Saru Singhal thank u for understanding this need. Magic or heed...sometimes heed feels magic too.
    I guess so I am not alone in my suffering and that believe me gives some solace.
    Hope I get to c u soon again at my page. :)