Recovery Road

It was just that i was giving a cursory glance at the newspaper when my eyes caught something and then i lost my peace of mind.
Page 3 of Chennai Times Of India supplement is not something you lose your peace rather it provides you a glimpse into fancy dreams, fashion, the hippest of parties, dressed to kill hunks, ladies with tonnes of oomph, health matters and definitely movies that you should catch or crash along with what's happening in town to deserve a visit.
Not surprising that these are the coloured transparencies that catch our attention most.

But this article relegated to page 3 of the supplement was a crime i will never forgive TOI for.It deserved a page 1 slot i feel because it was a warning of a storm that is brewing.Or rather a storm which is already on it's way to destruction as we make ourselves more and more vulnerable rather than being prepared to deal with this sort of contingency.

i read the article twice only to discover that i was already inflicted and should run for a cure.Net surfing and spending more and more time on my laptop i am now showing some if not all signs of being an addict.Here is the checklist as it asks for the symptoms:
a) Do you have a strong desire or impulse to use the internet?
b) Are you irritable or restless if you stay away from it for sometime?
c) Do you lose track of time in a way that hinders in your other social obligations while you internet?
d) And thus are you becoming less and less social with friends and family?
e) Do you consider internet as a way to escape problems or gain relief from negative feelings?
....and there was one more.

So just as is typical of us to defend our case on being caught i felt flustered and said..."yeah yeah!! first you go on to sugarcane cultivation...discover sugar...invent toothpaste...later warn us of tooth problems and diabetes...what the hell?"
Well that was the first reaction but as i went along with my chores i started ticking off in my mind the symptoms and realised to my horror that i needed to get DEADDICTED.
Maybe i am not yet irritable but restless yes.
i do find the internet as an escape...a panacea to my boredom as i -
i) Prowl quietly on the social networking sites listening to conversations...sometimes dropping a one liner and maybe two on being complimented or questioned.
ii) i have umpteen music concerts that i attend too which starts with Bhajans in the morning and ends up with pop by evening...in between old classics.
iii) When at home i have my endless nature trails on the internet.
iv) Stuck with any recipe, any question regarding anything i am thrilled to be online as i discover a whole lot more...so totally mindless about the time.
In brief i do spend an enormous amount of time and have not even realised it.
Not until i check myself out now.
And to top it all i have started finding real people too boring, having too many strings attached so i am more than satisfied with my new friends whom i do not even know personally but only through what is about them on the net.
Man!! i am addicted! Oh God!...and curse those people who took Worldspace off air in India.
Had i not been missing Worldspace none of this would've happened.
Yet another lame excuse.

Oh this article on TOI is like that mirror in the carnival that shows you an image of a distorted you.To some it amuses and to some it makes them wince with loathing and fear and right now i am not at all amused and  more spooked than to just brush it off. http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOICH/2010/06/03&PageLabel=19&EntityId=Ar01900&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

Before i can take myself on that road called recovery i seem to once again fall back on the same resource, the internet and this was one site that again gives it all,
http://www.netaddictionrecovery.com/the-problem/internet-addiction/internet-addiction-proposed-criteria.html
But on second thoughts i'd rather not take this road to recovery.
My alternative is LOADSHEDDING.
So just as they do when the supply is less than the demand i shall follow this self imposed load shedding for a while the only difference being that i shall fight out this deluge by abstinence.
What should i call it then instead of loadshedding...maybe loadshrugging...loadloathing...What? because in my case supply is more than the demand and i don't really know as of now if my abstinence will be one hell of a bingo job.
Hope it does not go phut  like that diet i followed for 3 months to shed those excess kilos...shed it too...only to regain more when i from a no carb , no sweet babes, i returned to my normal eat all gourmet of sorts.
This should not be so difficult than that diet i guess.
Don't know if it will work but i shall try to deal with the withdrawal symptoms by engaging myself in other creative pursuits...embroidery, potting new plants, reading and going out for a walk. These feel better than the sugar cravings and binge eating which are the results of going on a diet.Certainly looks a lot easier than chewing carrots, lettuce and sprouts like a goat.
i count my blessings as i have so many wonderful interests that should save me from drowning and keep me away to even think about looking at my lappie.
Nah i will not desert it completely...maybe after dusting the lappie take a quickie break before engaging myself on other more fruitful pursuits.
That is permitted i guess as i know even a chain smoker is not allowed to go off cigarettes all of a sudden.

i will not only be amused by my friend's article in the newspaper which was on similar lines but deal with this my way. http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOICH/2010/05/30&PageLabel=2&EntityId=Ar00201&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

Don't know yet how much high he is on the polls now or whether he is losing his popularity but Mr. President made so much sense when he said the following in his commencement address at Hampton University in Hampton ,Virginia. "And meanwhile you're coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and expose us to all kinds of arguements,some of which don't always rank that high on the truth meter. And with i pods and i pads and X Boxes and play stations-none of which i know how to work-(laughter)- information becomes a distraction, rather than a tool for empowerment,rather than a means of emancipation.So all of this is not only putting pressures on you; it's putting pressure on our country and our democracy..."



He said a good morning to all the mothers in the gathering and thought it better to inform the students little  realising that definitely some mothers like me sitting in the audience would have introspected and thought ,"Oh my God ! this is more for me than my ward ". How can one preach what one does not practice herself.
So loadloathing as of  now...for the internet.May the bounties of nature and my own nature save me from this malady...Amen!!