Friday, March 19, 2010

Let Bygones be Bygones

What would happen to us if we failed in our attempt to recall?  This hit me when i had a hard time recognising a familiar face as i watched that film Precious.  Actually there were two but when i failed in my first i didn't try too hard as the movie itself was making me too grave , too sad to think about anything else other than the child abuse and worse the incest that it talked of. Oh God ! i kept muttering  at each scene and could only control all the sad sighs when the movie ended with a hopeful note.

But then i kept thinking about this strange phenomenon that happens on a daily basis.  How come we remember some and forget most. The painful moments stay with us forever while very few of the blissful ones remain.  Ask anyone of the pleasurable moments and there will be very few to recollect whereas given a free hand one would start ranting off the unpleasant ones,  one by one.

In a way the past plays an important role in making us the way we are today. Some use the past as something they will never have in their life again and others let it rule them.  i get reminded of that line from' Gone With the Wind' where Scarlett O'Hara , the daughter of a rich Irish immigrant plantation owner proclaims  "I shall never be hungry again". She was thrown out of her plush royal life into that of penury and hunger and her proclamation after her suffering was not an ordinary one. Her life later as the novel progressed was a testimony to the fact that people often remember the sad past and it kind of is instrumental in the transformation... good or bad.

It is said that all psychopaths , criminals of all kinds including terrorists have had a very sad past.  If only people could use all that anger and all that sadness to be a hopeful and positive person like Precious the world would be so much more livable and so much a safe place to be.  Inflicted with the HIV Aids virus because of that continuous abuse by none other than her father and two kids later at a very tender age of 16, Precious was an embodiment of everything which i would love to call an INSPIRING SURVIVOR.

So there's Scarlet O'Hara who was extremely beautiful with a 20-22 inch waist who had her past and did everything she could to never be hungry again but finally lost out on one true love and then there was a most unattractive overweight and abused girl from Harlem who suffered all and finally emerged out of her suffering with a strong resolve and love.  Love for herself and her two kids one of which was affected with Down's Syndrome.

Precious with John McFadden (Lenny Kravitz) the kind hospital nurse
Miss Weiss (Mariah Carey) the social worker with Precious

And later during the day as i went on with my affairs i remembered the two familiar faces i had seen in the movie and those two were of Mariah Carey as Miss Weiss, the social worker and Lenny Kravitz as Mr John McFadden, the kind male hospital nurse. Both of them singers par excellence in real life. But the real angel in Precious's life came in the form of an alternative school teacher Miss Blu Rain played by another brilliant actor Paula Patton.

Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) seen here with her other alternative school mates with whom she bonded well.Below right is the saviour angel in Precious's life-Miss Blu Rain (Paula Patton).
We come across many such events in our daily life and often we question" Oh God Why Me?" We forget that life is like that.  Somethings sad and somethings happy and it is up to us to use these to carve out a better life for ourselves. What can come out of perpetuating anger and vengeance nothing but destruction. First others and later of our own. Surely that is not what we really want. Further another point worth remembering from the story is that when one door closes another window opens if only we care... to pay attention to those angels whom we fail to recognise and acknowledge. There is a hymn that is going on inside me now.One that we used to sing in school when we had our morning assembly and it goes like this   "It takes courage to answer a call
                It takes courage to give your all
                It takes courage to risk your name
                It takes courage to be true
It takes courage to dare , what no other will share
To be standing alone , one whom no one will own
To be ready to stake , for another man's sake
It takes courage to be true
               It takes courage to say , what no other will pay
              To give each man his share , though there will be less to spare
             To be seeking no more than the neighbour next door
             It takes courage to be true
Give me courage to answer that call
Give me courage to give your all
Give me courage to risk my name
Give me courage to be true"

Feel grateful and thankful to all those who have more to add in my life in terms of hurt and sadness because that will be my lesson in life never to be that person...ever...and can't quit this page without the tagline  "Life is short. Life is painful. Life is rich. Life is ...Precious ".

photos of the film courtesy:


  1. oops that's

  2. TRue, "I shall never be hungry," is one of Scarlett's best.
    Who killed RHETT BUTLER? It's never been written, until NOW!

  3. poignant and nostalgic!

    thanks for reminding of this hymn

  4. @Peter Brown thank u so much for your visit and i really feel honoured.:)i personally did not find the sequel to Gone with the wind unimpressive and i kept thinking that mentally he had died long ago when with all his adoration for Scarlett he was left in the lurch and when finally she could really reciprocate she had already lost out...what say you?
    @Sabina yeah dear certain bygones are never to be and the hymn is one such...shall soon visit ur blog excuse me for the time being i'm really too busy the whole month up to middle of April when i shall have plenty of time for myself and all the wonderful reads.Thanks a lot dear...once a friend always one i feel...thanks for encouraging me. :)

  5. Good post Shivani. I totally agree to your last line.....
    "Life is short.
    Life is painful.
    Life is rich.
    Life is ...Precious"
    How true...

  6. Very good post Shivani.
    Liked the last line...
    "Life is short.
    Life is painful.
    Life is rich.
    Life is ...Precious"
    How true.....

  7. I would've commented, but then I was asked just to put in a ":)"

  8. you always write so made so much of sense....carrying past hurts & grudges sure leads to nothing but self- destruction. You take care....wish I was more regular in reading your blogs! Loved going through the hymn too, as it took me back to school & I could see myself stand in the class line @ assembly! love always, nalini

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  10. Hello Diwaniji,

    Aren't you scared to let wicked kids like me to play on your blog page? :D

    Sometimes, the past looks so soothing like a mother's lap that we keep lingering on them. Time to grow out of juvenile escapist tendencies centred on a past that is obviously better than the present and wake up fully to the present, however stark it might be, leaving the past to be just the ground under us, that it should be..


  11. Shivani:

    Hola. Susan here. Nice place here Shivani.

    Shall follow you hereafter.

    Joy always,

  12. @Nandini thank you and hello u are very good too in ur writing.Nice to have met someone with similar thoughts.:)
    @Tandarin yeah that line is a winner any day.Thank you for being so prompt and so nice to me.:)
    @Rohit be my guest if u have anything to say.Try me:) however ur visit shows ur sincerity and that's cool too and hey i said even if u have nothing to say leave a smiley...bad recall for u too...hahaha:)
    @Nalini haaan bhai haaan the school assembly but u know i'm going hopelessly out of tune in the last lines of each stanza.Can u sing it properly?Thank u dear and no pressures, whenever u can, drop in nd say hello i'd love that.
    @Susan HOLA...i didn't say this yesterday but now i can.U are as charming as u write.Thank u for ur visit and let's not be alone now when we don't want to be.:)
    @Manorathan that corny smile won't do because i believe one who can write so well and compose too can never be too wicked for my palate.Thank you and hey nice memories are like balm don't deny it or i'll start calling u a cynic instead.And on second thoughts man u r entitled to ur opinions.Cool...:)

  13. great post shivani,this is all i can say!Really it does take courage to come up with the truth!