Umbrella

Genuflection is nothing new and of late it has taken on a rather insincere and servile meaning and it makes me sick to be a part of a system where this is being perpetuated by people who claim to be different from the corrupt politicians and call themselves bureaucrats.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowing

Scenario of the entire subordinate class as if the entire frigging department was in attention jamming the staircase bowing to the madam as she came to survey the house which they are going to occupy soon was one perfect example of this servility. Unfortunately or fortunately this madam a housewife just like me is going to be my next door neighbor. Her husband heads the Department which is in charge of the allotment of flats and the Civil Department which means the subordinates starting from the peon, gardener and ending to the senior engineer better polish and shine madam's every wish and fancy what to talk of just her shoes and brass. Her kit not having arrived yet the junior officers can be seen currently holding an umbrella so that she does not catch a wee bit of the sunlight on her heavy shades laden face. So i am going to have more such scenarios with much more disgusting servile demonstrations. If i could i would avoid the sight but then the Government Quarters particularly this one where i am staying right now, the entrance door to my living room faces the entrance room to the madam's living room and we share a common staircase and passage. As i simmer with anger and frustration about my unattended repair complaints of the broken tiles, peeling paint on the walls which has been sitting forgotten for the last six months in the register of the Inspector of Works known as IOW of the colony i have to be a silent but angry spectator of work going on war footing in this flat which is right across. The tamasha, mess left around for me to clean up afterwards for the last one month now.
When we were allotted the flat i was thankful enough for the whitewashing that was done and i thought that this was the regular/ general procedure and maybe i could ask for repairs if it was needed and it would be attended to because that is the rule. But i was so naive rather foolish to have thought so. i should've known better. Mentally prepared myself to wait till my husband one day heads something when my complaints would be attended to pronto without delay and with much fanfare like this one which i just witnessed and have been for quite sometime now.
But on second thoughts having been a bureaucrat's daughter and got a rearing of the strict kind i guess the upbringing that i have had and the liberalism that i grew up with i might not be wanting to have the fanfare. Maybe improvements yes sans the servility that has become the order of the day.
My Civil Servant father my constant teacher of a Dad made us polish our own shoes and never allowed any chaprasi / peon to carry our school bags or ever used the office vehicle for domestic purpose. i shudder to think if i would be as comfortable with this kind of genuflection that madam seemed to indulge into. i shiver and shrug with disgust and disbelief when all this is done in the garb of protocol. These professors at the training institute are they even aware that the new recruits inducted better be made to understand the difference between protocol and feudalistic servility. The latter done definitely with intentions which are not only dishonest and impure but seem indecent too .

Now with all that has become routine and more so evident here and more now than ever would i be comfortable with that this should be a question i'd rather not answer for the simple reason that sometimes i have seen people do the same things with severity and cruelty that of which they were a victim of once. i am not lying or being presumptuous about this but my personal reading of the most insensitive people have been thus.
i'll wait and watch till my time comes. But can i succumb?  i guess not because we are a sum total of our experiences and upbringing aren't we ?

As of now will it suffice to say that i prefer to open the door of the vehicle myself for it embarrasses me if the person i have engaged to drive my car does it for me. Every time Khan Sahab ( Driver) hurries forward to open the door when he sees me approach i stop him from doing so. Although he keeps saying, " Madam, it would only give me pleasure to do it for you..." and i keep reiterating, " Khan Sahab thank you i understand your feelings but i respect you too much..."

Now i am not filled with vendetta or anything but it tears me apart to see the unfair way matters are dealt with. The way our system works. That is why i say isn't it the bureaucrats maybe not all but the numbers are large of those who are responsible in perpetuating that which actually should be condemned. Why can't a roster be prepared and work attended to.  Why all this special treatment?  And what about all that waste of resources happening to prepare for madam's occupancy ?
The existing good tiles broken down and refitting of new tiles, and tiles applied even in places where they aren't for the rest of the existing Quarters, the tearing apart of existing doors and refitting of flush doors. So much of waste of precious resources. How is it being managed? Surely dishonesty must be doing the rounds hidden in the red tape files and i'm sure one day it will come to the fore but why all this?
Is is a blatant show of strength or power?
C'mon any sane sensible person can figure it out that it is neither but just pathetic display of genuflection of the wrong kind and hidden behind that all that tebowing the ugly sad bad corruption.

Recently i read an article in The Hindu about diplomats as to how they are given all the necessary training they would be needing so far as dressing up and dining is concerned because they have to take assignments abroad and as representatives of the Nation they must behave in Rome as Romans do. i guess it's time that the Administrative institutes and all the institutes wake up to issues which have been lying dormant and try and inculcate duties and specify the differences which are being confused by our executives who are an important link between the legislature and the judiciary. Yeah sure if educated people who read the constitution and write exams to qualify that exam if they can't seem to single out simple values they better be taught to do so and if a law has to be made to implement it then so be it. Phew...
Think i have let off all that steam now... but not yet i have more...

This is what i received today as a good morning message on whatts app.

i did thank my friend for the message but not without quickly typing for her, '' Let's sit down for while sweetie and i shall explain why such messages are only best for forwarding apart from them sounding virtuous because in real life i guess none of this seems to work. i shall give you real examples. Can't type all the examples on kindness, compassion, charity, truth and love with examples on whatts app. "

Although i feel awful now why i had to do that. i guess i was just too angry and i know my friend well enough to know she must have understood that something sure must be bothering me.
People are getting on my nerves and their ways make me angry now. Recently not only what has been happening right across my door but all that i had considered virtues those virtues instead of giving me happiness and contentment have left me writhing and tormented with pain. A spate of incidents and i am beginning to have serious doubts on those virtues.

i have my own true stories to tell which shall prove otherwise. Meaning,  Be kind and people will take you for a Trans Siberian ride. Lend your ears for Compassion and next thing you know you will probably be the agony aunt for days to come where all you have to do is just hear the same sob story being repeated again and again and again. What is worse none of your advice will be adhered to, people will continue to be the askholes ( apologies for using slang) and the next day would be the repeat of the previous day. Be Charitable and the poor start thinking you are getting free supplies from Mukesh Ambani or worse have you heard that Camel and the Bedouin story something like that might happen to you. Speak the Truth but be prepared to be hanged for it or worse be poisoned like Socrates. And when all this is happening around you can there be any chance of any love seed getting enough nourishment for it to grow. i guess not.

It was meant to be. i just can't say that it happened accidentally that i caught the early morning broadcast on the radio offering me pearls of wisdom, motivational talk and what they would call a cocktail of new age spirituality.
Hmmmm...spirituality i don't understand that term because i'm still trying to learn to live my life without nurturing any ill will or malice or jealousy. i am trying to live each day doing what i can do best given my circumstances and trying to be selfless in that. Hoping less of recognition from others and more of self satisfaction. i am trying to be happy. Sometimes in trying to do and live i don't recall having even enough time to sit back and sense the happiness around me if it is really existing but many times i do count my blessings and thank the Almighty for having given me more than enough and then i indulge into my happiness. These moments are my moments when i feel i am being spiritual. Seriously.
But sadly though and i hate to admit it this spiritual feeling does not seem to happen around people. It only seems to happen when i am on my own with my greenery...rocks, dirt, creatures, ....anything in nature but definitely not around people. People are beginning to give me shocks after shocks to such an extent that i wish like i had that Gun i had blogged about once.  http://shivanidiwani64.blogspot.in/2010/08/knock-knock-knocking-at-technologys.html The wish gun, the one that doesn't kill but transforms the nasty you into the Godly you. One shot and you change from the filled with rage and anger within and seeking vendetta for the injustice done Dr Hannibal of The Silence of The Lambs into a lovely Julie Andrews of Sound of Music. Sweet, charming and can fix anything and everything with her clean, pure and singing heart.
Point is as i was listening i was sure enticed to write my own personal query to the RJ of the show who seems to have the answers although i feel his answers are similar to what i have been unconscious of the right approach but nevertheless been doing even without knowing about what his answers would be guided by my own soulful instincts. Incidentally that's the name of the radio program too 'Soul Yatra...

His answers generally were about what i have been striving at. Putting in a nutshell to bring in the changes in oneself instead of expecting any changes to happen from any other side and by that i mean anyone even the one whom you might deem to be the one who is closest to you to the one who is far flung and by that i mean the society, the Govt, and who ever that can be ascribed to be as forming a part of our social existence.

There sure is something interesting in this motivational cum spiritual cocktail. The RJ Mr Sarath and i feel nice to get to hear him everyday now tells stories which touch various aspects of our lives. Relationships, faith, anger, frustrations, success, happiness, love...and in between his sermon instead of a pause there is this laugh which perhaps adds a persona to the voice that one hears. Drama is created and the whole sounds really nice at 6 o' clock in the morning.
i must say that the laugh sounds haunting to me. Like that of a Fakir...roaming the streets making prophesies and alerting people of the dangers lurking within. Yeah prophetic something like that but strange unlike other prophesies of which many a times we are skeptic this one sounds true and very believable and even when the talk has ended there is not an iota of doubt about what was just said, shared, and dissipated .
Yesterday as he read about a query posted by a newly married girl he talked about FAITH and then narrated a story about what having faith really means. And that's precisely why i am in a hurry to catch him speak every morning these days. Perhaps i need to hear him more than ever now since my faith in people seems to be on shaky grounds. Sometimes that Faith also falters the one about which Mr Sharath had talked. Faith of the Believer.
So it was meant to be that i had to hear about Faith and then as i was watering my green babies i had to see this which took me to straight to that FAITH.

i had planted a small plant of Tecoma capensis ( Cape honeysuckle) a few days back. And this morning as i went there to check on the growth and to see if it needed support to climb because this is a creeping vine i see this beautiful mushroom umbrella. At first the words that rang inside were these...Under My Umbrella eh eh Under My Umbrella... and then all i could think about was God Almighty. i am not a poet and have no song of my own to call it my My Song to God so i am borrowing some words from that of Glenda's from http://listentomyheartsing.blogspot.in/
“Creation shows the power of God

There’s glory all around.
And those who see must stand in awe
For miracles abound..."

The world feels beautiful and i feel calm when i see such miracles. Yesterday it would've been there and i might've missed and only today i had to view God's Umbrella. i genuflected and the only words that i could think of was a prayer that was given to me by a friend in Chennai and i would be glad to share.

The tears did fall but they were the tears of happiness because i felt God's Umbrella protecting me from all that onslaught. i guess it was meant to be for me to hear the sermon by Mr Sharath, see the umbrella, get calmed, and renew my faith that i needn't change. i should continue to be. Live and do but it still doesn't answer my basic question, why can't i feel the same kind of calmness around people...

Whenever storm rages i run outdoors towards my plants...funny ain't it but that is where i get what i need most. Even now i am feeling protected around them...and maybe one day i might get my answers too through them.

Now that doesn't mean i will stop listening to Mr Sharath.  i am rather blessed to have been guided by some unknown source to take the Soul Yatra with him each day. Hope this journey adds more to my own as i continue to try...

Gul-e-Abbas the Fragrance of Memories

It was a familiar fragrance from childhood which made me go crawling on my knees to see first and then take a series of shots so that i could fondly blog about it. Talk of another flower from childhood days. That which we as kids knew as Four O' Clock.
This happened the day i went chasing Mr Whoo Hoo, The Yellow Footed Pigeon. i was focusing hard on my Pigeon as he sat on the high branches of the sparse Rain Tree. Sparse in foliage because it was sprouting new leaves and thankfully looked less dense aiding me thus to see my Pigeon singled out but more than seeing i was hoping and wishing all that while for the Pigeon to produce some of it's sounds so that i could record it. Well the sound didn't emanate instead Mr Whoo Hoo took off to be with his mate in another dense Banyan tree nearby from which faint sounds did emerge but not of the courting call sounding whoo hoo instead of the turbulence in the branches and some faint rustling of the leaves.

Perhaps my concentration to hear and see had made me more sensitive and alert to the smells emanating from the surroundings too. Thus i had to revert my point of focus to the ground below and crawl to reach to find the source from where that faint floral but familiar fragrance was emerging and boy! was i glad to see the flower from my memories, the seeds of which resembled black pepper and we collected as many as we could because it would be there so evident and beckoning with promises to keep.  i was seeing Four O' Clock ...

Gul-e-Bas sounds Urdu and maybe it is Urdu but that's what it is also called in my own mother tongue Hindi too excepting for a 'a' in between and so the gardeners if you ask them the name of the flower they might say something which makes it sound like some kind of bamboo instead.' Gulabaans' that's how they pronounce it the tailing baans actually meaning bamboo. Gul means flower. Gulabaans should then mean bamboo flower then. Sounds misleading...not unless one knows the difference between the common and the vernacular. Local dialects tend to make the names sound like that and i should know better now for i have been in Delhi long enough to know that pierce means Pears and parak means Park. 

 Mirabilis jalapa or Gul-e-Abbas. Mirabilis latin for wonderful and Jalapa is a place name. This plant is said to have been exported from Peruvian Andes in 1540. Jalapa is in Central ( North America).

 About it getting it's name as Gul-e-Abbas," Mirabilis Jalapa belongs to the family Nyctaginaceae. It is cultivated in West Indies and India. It has five varieties. Red and yellow flowers were introduced from the West Indies in 1596. Shortly afterwards it was introduced to Persia in the reign of Shah Abbas and was named Gul-e-Abbas."

http://pjmhsonline.com/JulySept2012/studies_to_evaluate_the_effect_of%20seeds.htm

i have always loved the fragrance of this flower not to miss the special characteristics that kept me fascinated even when i was a kid. For one thing the bush looks lush and does not grow very tall. i could reach out to touch the lovely shapely foliage and pick the seeds when they were mature. But the best was when we played around it we would get the whiff of the beautiful fragrance that emanated from the flowers which blossomed only after post afternoons which was after four o clock. By that time we were back from school and would have already congregated for our games, called out to each other, dragged the reluctant ones out to complete the teams. To play Seven Stones, Hide and Seek, Color Color What Color Do You Choose, Ringa Ringa Roses... All of the games played in the free beautiful outdoors where Gul-e-Abbas along with others grew perhaps planted or maybe growing by themselves who knows because then we were not that caring about who was planting or growing what or how things were growing or why/how flowers were blooming because those were the Hide and Seek and 'PITTO' (Seven Stones) days.

 But it sure is a miracle how the fragrance, the flower, the game, the things we did with the flower and the seeds along with the games, the typical characteristic of the flower, all seem to be woven like a pattern and if the pattern could be given a name then Nostalgia should be it . True it is what Jean Paul Guerlain the master perfumer said about fragrances then, " Perfume is the most intense form of memory."

i don't seem to know of many flowers the name of which carries it's attributes in it. This is one such. Most flowers are either named after the Botanists/ Explorers who have discovered it. But this flower derives it's name from the special characteristic that it possesses. 

The Turkish call it aksam sefasi which means evening pleasure.

 The French have given it Belle de Nuit and in Netherlands it is known as Nachtschone both meaning beauty of the night. Even in Hebrew it is known as Lilanit Rav-Gonit meaning queen of the night.

Much of our own regional names are also likewise. In Kerala it is known as Naalmani Poovu meaning four o' clock flower. The Assamese calling it Godhuli phool, the Bengalis calling it Sandhyamaloti, the Maithilis from Bihar calling it Sanjhaphool all basically meaning the same as already mentioned before.

What i had not known about the flower is that it is not so much the time but the drop in temperature which is important for it's blooming that is why it blooms in post afternoons. There are other interesting features too which thanks to my temperament and my leisure i have just learnt.

Although i can't claim to have seen that bush yet but the same bush may have flowers of different colors in it. There are small trumpet shaped sweetly scented flowers in solid colors of red , pink, yellow, white , purple/lilac, orange that open in the late afternoon with a lovely and pleasing evening fragrance.

Then there are also those which are striped, splashed and mottled in bright cheery colors of yellow and pink or pink and white. And probably there are even more combinations that i wouldn't know.

But i have seen these colorful ones only in pictures. Wonder why they are not doing the rounds of the Indian Plant Nurseries. i have only seen the pink ones here in Delhi. Haven't been fortunate enough to spot a yellow or a white even.

Thanks to the internet i know now that an individual flower is also splashed with different colors on its petals. The above two images thus are the ones borrowed from the internet and the first thing i did after i discovered about these was to go to my local nursery to show them this Gulabaans. Although they have promised to get me a plant or two i know from experience is that theirs unlike my Gul e Abbas is a promise that is not for keeps. But i shall keep hoping. It makes me happy to hope.

 Flowers usually open from late afternoon onward hence the Four O' Clock name. Then the sweet pleasing fragrance that it produces lasts throughout night when finally the flowers close for good in the morning. New flowers open the following day once again during post afternoon.

We were fascinated with the plant for it's seeds which resembled black pepper. Hardly noticed the seeds when they were not mature and still greenish yellow. But a fully mature seed cannot be missed by anyone. Another good quality about this plant which self seeds.

Although this picture which is borrowed from the internet it is cent per cent true to my memories for i know i had collected many of these and sown all the pepper looking wrinkled, spherical but not exactly round seeds i had collected to have the pleasantly fragrant flowers of my own and had them too. Now i am crawling once again on my knees to collect some of these spherical, wrinkled, pepper looking black seeds and i can see none. Maybe i'll have to keep coming and watch out for the flowers and the seeds...

 Well that sort of sums up all i had to share about my fragrance of memories but just before quitting i checked the internet to see if anyone had composed a poetry on this flower that has remained with me since childhood along with all all the outdoor the games associated with it. Did i find it. Yes not one but two and i would love to have them here right here on this post on that flower from childhood called Four O' Clock.

Southern Spring
by
James Donahoe

Soon
I will borrow
a bow saw
to trim the yews
that run my yard,
and soon
I will hunt stakes
to brace my plants,
but now
I must sit
in the shade
and watch
the four-o’clocks grow.

Four O' Clock Flowers

by

Jean Gorney

As the afternoon wanes, 
Before the sun goes to sleep 
Flowers from my Four O’clocks 
I then begin to reap. 

As they come to full bloom, 
and I string them into a lei, 
I think what a wonderful way 
to end up a sunshining day.