i want to have one of those each and every time i have a vision of her. Like i felt like having now because you see her and i see her. Actually if someone could see these crumbs that seem to escape like vapour as i try to breathe and make my black keyboard look dusty. i am indulging into one, the color of which matches with the picture of that which i indulgently took when i happened to chance upon it by accident. It was there sort of humbled among all the bright, vibrant and alluring ones. Everybody yes each and everybody out there was busy taking pictures of all the rest. i was all alone there on my knees crouching like a tiger moving stealthily towards it's prey. There was no other way. She was hidden among the bigger, brighter and bolder rest. And it was good for me for i was needing SOLITUDE.
i haven't read the gentleman but have his quote because it is one of my hobbies. Collecting quotes. Something that matches my mood. And he said, “Solitude gives birth to the original in us, to beauty unfamiliar and perilous - to poetry. But also, it gives birth to the opposite: to the perverse, the illicit, the absurd.” Thomas Mann , Death in Venice and Other Tales.
i don't know about the other two but i get absurd thoughts when i am in my self propelled solitude. And mostly it is related to food. Why i am thinking it to be absurd is because i am miles away from BISCUITS. People i have known for ages love to have biscuits with their morning tea/ milk or just like that but i never am and never was a biscuit person rather i am a BEESKOOT girl. Wait a minute don't know what i mean then here's a reminder http://shivanidiwani64.blogspot.in/2010/08/beescoot.html
So here i was standing to the most strange looking beauty that i had ever seen and i could smell a packet of Marie Biscuits. And there was this jingle that was going on inside, " Guests for tea, bring out Marie, Britannia, Britannia, Britannia Marie Britannia Britannia Britannia Marie...Britanneeyaa...ting tong!! ''
What was making me nervous was the strange feeling which perhaps most carnivores get when they see their prey. The petals and the hues reminded me so much of those biscuits that i often called ' Cardboard biscuits' and never ever even looked at as if it ever existed. And here i stood more like a zombie wanting to devour this cardboard biscuit looking thing with full agreement to what the other man of words said, “There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion.” Edgar Allan Poe
It was as if Edgar Allan's words were making it look even more delectable. My fingers were twitching to grab one of those outer petals and plop them straight into my mouth. The logical brain was shrieking and stopping me from doing so. EAP's words were like fuel to the fire. They went inside the head like the aroma that hits you when you pass the bakery store. The sign at the door of the bakery says closed and you just can't seem to wait. Something like that. So i followed for once what my logical brain told me to do. Had one last look at the beauty...a tad more closely feeling a bit anxious reminding myself to be clean and clear in my intentions and left the place.
And ever since i met this beauty i have become addicted to what i thought never existed. Yeah those ' Cardboard Biscuits'. For the world knows this as a Rose and they say what's in a name call it by any other name so i call this one MARIE...same to same as the original Britannia Marie that i am having right now...the crumbs of which make my laptop keyboard not only dusty but grainy dusty...as i go crunchhin munchhin by...
From Beescoot to Biscuits and how did it happen...don't tell me u didn't find it absurd...
Well captured, aptly written post...
ReplyDelete@ Weekend-Windup ( John Paul) :) :) when i get a new visitor the smile happens which stays there for a long long time and gets me hopeful too. Thank you so much for the kind encouraging words. Hope the next time you visit you are not disappointed. Although i can't really promise you that. But thanks again and yes will visit you too.
DeleteEven I find more beauty is something which is hidden and I have the luxury of observing it in solitude. Lovely name that you have given it.
ReplyDeleteMe too a beeskoot girl.
@ Saru Singhal omg...you too...BEESKOOT GIRL...love that. Thanks for stopping by and once again decorating my page with your sincere words. Much obliged. This makes me anxious too...have you written something new...
Delete