Come Walk with Me

i just feel gr8 for the monsoon finally bringing the heat down in Delhi. A stroll in the morning with my babies around me looking greener and healthier and sprouting perfect new limbs, growing stronger and healthier can be a very relaxing and calming experience. And today i wish for company because although my babies make me feel happy i cannot help but miss my loved one who is no more with me. Today i want to share my walk...my happiness and my pining heart for Precious.

Coming out of the main door...thinking also about the WHO who created you before i adopted you my dearest ones...i first look towards your appearance.

Admiring you and thanking you, blessing you, wishing you well, whispering silently to survive against all odds i walk along spaces that could not restrict you from spreading joy to one and all.

My babies who have made me famous...people come and show lots of appreciation for you...express their respects to the mother who adopted them and is taking excellent care and their numbers are now gradually growing... of strangers who want to be friends.
i am now known through you and because of you. That sometimes makes me feel wanted and other times infuses some pride.
But will they ever be able to feel that i deeply miss one among or rather few among you who left me this summer? Can they sense the guilt...the anger...the frustration...the loneliness/emptiness/the sorrow that one feels even when others are around ??? But Darlings the moment i see you i get respite and feel optimistic once again. Trying all that i can...feeding you, grooming you, watching you grow from strength to strength i quickly forget all my pain, anger, frustrations...

Sometimes you play truant and cause me worry when you don't look your own cheery self.

But a lot many times you only delight me and pleasantly surprise me when you introduce me to your new friends.

The Bulbuls and sparrows friends of yours are restless and fly away or rather shy away after a quick greeting but this Mr Gold -triangle- in- the- wings was very patient and kind. We sure did exchange a few notes. Thank you dears for sharing your fun times with me. But will you please invite that butterfly again who got startled as soon as i approached to say hello. Will you tell the butterfly not to be afraid and linger a bit longer? i would love to know it's name.

Come walk with me...from that passage to the lift...and lets remember Precious and company fondly...

The mere sight of whom would bring words into the mouth of even the most quiet one, banish all boredom, start conversations and even startle the moving feet to glued stillness...as one was stunned by it's elegance and regalia. Some strangers would just come all the way to the top floor just to take pictures.

i wish well for you my babies but can't help missing my Precious. 

Is Precious precious because Precious is no more with us now? i guess not.

Succumbing to the heat wave and languishing slowly as i tried my best to revive it. Was there something i needed to know...something that i missed...of some fatal infection draining the life out of my Precious... ignorance about it's weaning, it's delicate body which needed special care... the oppressive, suffocating heat wave... what was it...???

Feeling anxious about you always especially when i am away not trusting the help who might ignore you completely or upon being reprimanded over the phone overfeed you and make you fatally sick. Do you know dears that it's in a mom's intrinsic nature to worry about the well being of her kids? 

Are you missing Precious too and all your other buddies who were too delicate to survive the odds?

i mean all your colorful friends...

Perhaps they suffered doubly... with heat burns and latent grief for Precious. 

Do not grieve my darlings...

 Precious and company will always be in our hearts.

i know i know...all of you love talking about Precious and the others as they say-"Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Let's talk as i walk for not only do i prize your gentle, innocent, beautiful  presence around me but YOU my lovely ones remind me again and again of that which often slips out of the conscious... 

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

                                                                 --- Kahlil Gibran

N.B: Keep walking with me as we shall in my next post reveal more of Precious...