It's a Gal Thing

i often imagine my man to be a unicorn of a special kind.
A unicorn with automatic blinders on. The kind which pops in and later pops out of his face as and when it suits/ pleases him.
When mundane chores require vision he is the unicorn with his blinders on. Never knowing the whereabouts of his own personal effects. Can't even spot his flip flops which is very much there where it should be.
But when it comes to browsing/window shopping in a mall gone are the blinders rather he seems to get his third eye miraculously opened up what to talk of the x rated vision of the existing two.
It doesn't disturb me till he is attentive but there are times when i feel like i just said something to the six foot wall which cannot/ will not elicit response then i do what i'm best at...sulk first and when provoked in the ride back home shout and sometimes even cry out to my hearts content in the privacy of the car. A few apologies coupled with a few angry reproaches from my side and we are back to pretending to be chummy friends forever again. But to be honest...the pain of not being sexy/attractive enough to keep holding his attention remains, lurking in the crevices/ folds of the brain asking for changes in your whole physical being. The change that will require nothing less than a miracle.
Well that is one major uff factor which makes me hate my body even more. As if whatever reasons there were before was not enough.

For years now i have wondered how or why hubby dear can't get a single proper thing i asked for when he shops alone is because he never pays attention to all our grocery/ provision shopping together. He lurks around the vicinity happily shopping for something imaginary. i'm grateful that he pays the bill but c'mon what kind of a man irritates you to hell when you've asked him to get the regular paancphoren...asking you dumb questions as to what kind he is supposed to get when returning from the Supermarket where he has gone to get his particular brand of aftershave-alone. i tear my hair in despair wailing as if declaring to the universe my helpless plea- 29 years of home shopping together and he doesn't know what five spice a hardcore Bihari uses for the regular aloo ka bhujiya his the only one favorite he cannot do without.
Maybe it's a guy thing but then why i never mess up on the things my man needs or uses when i shop alone and i am able to deliver without fail or any faults each and every time is perhaps the gal thing. From the toiletries to the side of the bed he feels comfortable in to the way he likes his parathas done...
The unicorn complains that i'm never satisfied with what he brings and my answer is a standard one always, " That's not what i had asked for..."

And that's what my blog is about...the guy vs the gal thing. And what brought it all up was this wee bit of an article about men in the Sunday edition of the special feature of Times Life (TOI).

The wee bit article i would love to quote, ' Why he has a roving eye...' . Well that's the sub title of that which reads under ' Men Decoded '.
So then this is it i say to myself which partly explains this guy thing of having a third eye aka the roving eye. The COOLIDGE EFFECT., i.e. their urge to reproduce with multiple partners!..."
"According to the findings of a study by researchers at the University of Stirling and the University of Glasgow in the UK, men can't help staring at other women because their wandering eye is the result of evolution...''
The Coolidge Effect dispelled the erstwhile composure/ temperament i had maintained all this while.
That they are perhaps just too curious about the bird in the bush than being attentive to or perhaps appreciating the bird in hand. That perhaps this too was a typical guy thing and i can't do anything about it. Temporarily maybe sulk and later shout/cry OR else chuckle with delight to know what Bernice did. As if Bernice did what she did was purely on my/our behalf.

But the fact that there is a logical reasoning to this guy thing has it satisfied me and made me okay with it i must admit my answer leans towards the negative and i feel pained rather infuriated too. Actually it has annoyed me well enough to exclaim with exasperation," Evolution! my foot! two hoots to that crap...***%%*#####..."
Bernice needs to understand it too that her solution is not a permanent one. And that she needs to work on a better solution. For me, for all of us.
The Coolidge Effect better have another Warmidge Effect counteracting it to explain and make us woman accept the truth with a kinder heart and not blame our men for philandering even when it is an imagined and quite harmless one. i was attracted to this wee bit of article carelessly tucked into the border of page 3 of Times Life because i thought the article might give me some enlightenment which can make me come to terms with this guy thing just like how i have with the others. Wonder about the how and why's, throw hopeless gestures of despair and still move on. But unless i get a valid explanation and it better be more digestible than this i will continue to treat this Coolidge thing as yet another of those which one day says potato is not good for you and the very next day supposed to be so full of nutrients and everything.
Till then i shall continue to be just the gal i am...

Viva ! Artocarpus lakoocha

i have travelled quite a lot...although virtually though to find what i had been looking for so long. That tete e tete i had with Sanjoo yesterday formed an integral part of my travel and long after he had gone i searched the internet seeking out the fruits and the trees he had talked about. i guess knowing the vernacular name has its disadvantages. Thus finally before i signed off i typed , ' lesser known fruits ' on my Google search box. Once again i started on another journey which took me to the US, UK , Malaysia and Indonesia. Found a couple of what i had been looking for. The text book aka the scientific names of kafal and one other. Won't say i was bang on to all the six fruits he had talked about instead i had enough for the hungry to know more of two if not six. Nobaad nobaad at all. It sufficed for the time being for i was enriched with not only the nutritional value but also the brilliant sights of the plant/ tree/ shrubs. Satisfied and before hitting the sack i sensed the same intuition...of being able to find my own burhar sooner than i have expected. Probably because i knew exactly now which path to take.

This morning saw me with that hurrah moment. My Burhar was always there where it should have been all the time. The culprit was the vernacular name...and sadly there were no posts with that name. Bihar the place of my birth and growth has four major local dialects. The Bhojpuri being the most well-known. But then there is Magahi, Angika and the sweetest of them all Mythili. i hail from the Bhagalpur district and that part of Bhagalpur which speaks Angika. One peculiarity of Angika being using R instead of L in their dialect. Thus peela meaning color yellow is Peera, kela meaning banana is Kera, jhola meaning bag is Jhora and similarly katahal meaning jackfruit is Katahar so on and so forth.
Thus the reason my travelling round the various sites was not giving the desired result. All along i had been searching for burhar pronounced bur + her = burhar when as a matter of fact it was Burhal . The enlightenment and thus this reasoning dawned upon me only after i had typed, ' lesser known fruits of India '. There it was...the picture of  the tree, it's broad leaved foliage and many delightfully clear images of the forgotten fruit. Bumpy and folded from outside and visually so appealing from the inside which is the edible part. Not only that but other information about the taste, the nutritional value and why it is getting rarer. i wish i could copy paste the picture here on my page but ever since i did my post on Shami tree and a gentleman was just too annoyed when i had used his picture with the source i think it would be best if i provide the link where Burhal/ Barhal can be seen and read about.
However i shall not let go the opportunity of using the free resource. So my Barhal looks like this.

now i am waiting for Sanjoo to be back from his holidays. Then i will ask him if he knows the tree and the taste of Burhal . Will remember to ask the name in his own Kumaoni language.
i  wonder if Mr Prasoon Joshi and many like him who still cherish memories of their childhood fruits...if they know the taste of this tangy fruit. the fibers of which look similar in texture to jackfruit but so brilliant in color what to talk of the juicy, sweet and sour feel to the palate. Something which is pleasant in smell and tastes somewhat like a kiwi...

As for me i feel fortunate that my Burhar exists and is thriving not only in India but has traveled too. From India to the other countries. Specially South Asia and that it is commonly known as Monkey Jack/ Emerald Jack also sounding so cute- Lakoocha.

Also grateful and deeply indebted to all the good souls who have launched posts on my Burhar/Burhal complete with shots and lots of information that i was bereft of all these days. My sincere thanks to Professor Deepa Dwivedi of http://www.cropsforthefuture.org/ and her article ' Barhal, a little-known fruit from northern India'. Had it not been for her article and thus the knowledge that i obtained of my Burhar i would not have had such an enriching journey. Through her post i learnt the scientific name Artocarpus lakoocha and the ride from then on was such a smooth one. Of the kind that not only excited me but also refreshed the bored to silence and sulking me.
Need to thank blogger Catherine Reddy for her ' All About Lakoocha' at theindianvegan.blogspot.in whose blog nourished by feeding the dil maange more me. ( heart wants)

Finally but most importantly Mr Spencer Woodard in his weblog called 'anthropogen' does much more than giving facts alone. His blog inspires. The amazing work done by him in his weblog is an ideal  for bloggers like me who blog not only for sharing the knowledge/ experience they would've gained but also for the sake of preservation and contribution. i wish one day i am rich enough to contribute with the same commitment and passion as he has done and is still doing in all possible ways. i take this opportunity in quoting his words, " I am interested in the history of human relationships with plants and how the ever-changing state of these relationships has affected the ways in which our species interacts with and influences larger ecological systems in our midst."
My journey which started first with Sanjoo and later with Professor Deepa Dwivedi traversing many on Artocarpus lakoocha and Catherine Reddy came a full circle with Mr Spencer Woodard at http://anthropogen.com/2008/05/05/unidentified-fruit-orange-bumpy/

Right now reliving the memories of that journey is delighting me the same way as when one enjoys photos of the journey taken after hitting base. Another great feeling is like i have accomplished something. If not for humanity sakes but for myself and my heart sings with joy to know that what i thought had gone extinct is very much alive and kicking.

Before i quit i want to share the environment anthem of the 70's from Joni Mitchell once again. Not before quoting her words, " I wrote 'Big Yellow Taxi' on my first trip to Hawaii. I took a taxi to the hotel and when I woke up the next morning, I threw back the curtains and saw these beautiful green mountains in the distance. Then, I looked down and there was a parking lot as far as the eye could see, and it broke my heart... this blight on paradise. That's when I sat down and wrote the song. "



                                                         - : Image Courtesy :-
                                       From Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository